Raising an introverted child

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Some parents may get worried when they see their children always favor playing alone and not actively participating in social activities. There exists a common belief that a person is more successful or has greater possibilities to be successful if he or she has wider social networks and plays an active role in social events. Extroverts are those who always break the ice, lighten up the surrounding atmosphere and motivate people get into chats; they are the focus of the group and this offers them greater chances to become leaders. However, the world without the introverts, who are good at extracting the essence of things in the solitude, creating masterpieces that broaden the understanding towards the world, universe and humanity, will never become what it has become.

Some parents push their children to get involved into classmates parties or activities; some parents even pick up friends themselves whom they suppose to be ‘good’ for their children. These “good-hearted” or “concerned” parents place pressure on their children gradually; this may result in even worse rejection or phobia in terms of socializing or communicating. Thus, the first and foremost thing for these parents to know is that “there is nothing wrong with these children”, “they have an inborn need for quiet time to process what they take in by observing” (Larsen, 2017, para.11). Dr. Laney, a neuroscience researcher and psychoanalyst practicing in Calabasas, points out that “dopamine produced by our bodies in the situation of like a party tends to give extroverted kids a pleasant boost, while it can overload a introverted child’s circuits” (as cited in Larsen, 2017, para.16). This indicates that the disparities of inner needs prompt introverted and extroverted children to seek different environments for their self-satisfaction.

Introverted children may face pressure not only from their parents but also from teachers as well as schools. Some teachers misunderstand introverted children as not smart or diligent enough, daydreaming and not paying attention to class content etc. Sometimes, situation even gets worse when a teacher yells at a child for he or she does not respond to the question quickly and labels this child as “awkward learner”. Linda Silverman, PhD, Director of the Gifted Development Center in Denver, illustrates that “introverted children are less likely to be admitted to a private prestigious school because they clam up in an interview” (as cited in Larsen, 2017, para.20). It cannot be denied that there exists discrimination against introverted children in school and other social places; this is the issue needed to be addressed via social campaign, advertising or media in order to influence people’s views and judgments, transcending differences and embracing diversities.

To sum up, parents of introverted children need to give back a ‘fair’ view to their children and accept them as who they naturally are; at the same time, parents can encourage and support instead of pushing their children to get used to various social places and meet with various people by get involved into conversations themselves and allow some time for their children to warm up. While it is important to bear in mind that these children need some time alone and absorb into their thoughts or things which interested them most.

 

Reference:

Larsen, A. (2017). Raising an introvert in an extrovert world. Retrieved from:

http://www.parents.com/kids/development/shy/raising-an-introvert/